Day 493: Sai-Baba and my self-responsibility.

babaThis is not a personal attack on anyone or any organization. But it’s time I look at my past guru experiences and de-construct them through self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see Sai Baba as an avatar of god and start worshiping him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe Sai Baba as a man of miracles.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my self-trust in Sai Baba.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to surrender myself to Sai Baba, in that completely giving up on myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never ask the question, “if Sai Baba is so powerful and Godly, why can’t he end the world-hunger?” In this I see/realize I wanted to believe in Baba, to believe in something mighty and great, so I don’t want to ask any tough questions to rock that delusional belief. In this I was avoiding self-responsibility by hiding behind some belief.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on my self-responsibility by having faith in Sai Baba.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize I was looking for reWards by going to Sai Baba, I was looking for solutions to “my problems” but never considering what is best for all. Never asked the question “Baba, how can we end the world-hunger?”, instead I looked to justify world problems by saying “they have spiritual purpose and reasons”, as if starving millions of human beings are learning a divine lesson setup up the almighty GOD himself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to introduce Sai Baba to my friends whom still are following Baba, within this I forgive myself for feeling a sense of guilt, as I feel I have greatly misguided them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that Baba is my protector and that he will come in my dreams and answer my questions. Not seeing/realizing I was avoiding self-responsibility to the max.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delude myself by following and worshiping Sai Baba. Because in that I never took self-responsibility, nor considered what-is-best for all, never worked for a solution that is best for all, but only asked for my own reWards from Baba.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have great faith in that magic-ash-powders I used to get from the Sai temple, believing them to have Baba’s magical mysterious powers. Within this I forgive myself for deluding myself with utter nonsense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from Sai Baba, not seeing/realizing the Equality and Oneness of us all. Life is one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry that I wasted some years with Sai Baba, and within this I forgive myself for feeling cheated by Baba, not seeing/realizing I am responsible for entering wasteful spiritual adventures, therefore I see blaming anyone or any organization is useless, instead I take the responsibility for myself, to birth myself as life here/now.

Also I see that blaming or attacking past Gurus is useless, because we are all collectively responsible for the shit that is going on here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘attack’ past gurus and their followers, in this I see/realize it is useless and counterproductive to attack anyone, because in that I am only causing more separation. Given that everyone and everything is part of self, so what use is to attack anyone? Instead I direct myself to speak/share common sense with the followers of Sai Baba or any other guru, but I avoid attacking them. Ignorance is a collective disease, so attacks or blames don’t’ help.

I forgive myself for separating myself from all Babas, and all Gurus. Instead of attacking, I take the responsibility to share common sense with them, to support them as I would like to be supported, equal and one.

Love All, Serve All. But how? study the desteni message.

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