Day 497: Fear of C++ programming language.

cppI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear working on C++ code.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that C++ is overly complex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form judgments about C++ even before doing any work on it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that C++ is too complex and too many layers which I believe I cannot sort them out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the many layers of C++ believing that I may get lost in them, instead of directing myself to study one at a time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear towards C++ coding and analysis, instead of looking at it as a challenge to study something new to expand my skill set.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that C++ has too many rules and fear that I may get lost in them, instead of studying and understanding them, turning complexity into simplicity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear rules, especially too many rules.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear C++ terminology and their meanings, not seeing/realizing I just have to learn the terms, familiarize myself with the C++ vocab.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up on this C++ assignment and be at peace with my fear of C++.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up and give into resistance about C++ instead of taking it as a challenge to learn/study investigate new vocab.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize I am fearing terminology which I am not familiar with, the typical human response to unfamiliar things: fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give excuses instead of walking through the excuses and expanding myself on C++.

I direct myself to breathe and study the terminology.

I direct myself to create a C++ word list and expand myself on it.

I see/realize giving into fear is not the solution, giving up is not the solution, instead I direct myself to step by step walk through this C++ assignment. Self-effort is required when learning something new.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sort of depress about having to look at C++ code, in this I forgive myself for desiring a positive high energy excitement with coding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel it’s not exciting to work on C++ code, in that I forgive myself for seeking ‘excitement energy’ within work, instead of expressing myself through work.

I breathe through this ‘lowness’ and direct myself to take practical steps to work through the C++ assignment. Instead of moving from the starting point of resistance towards C++, I take it as a challenge to overcome my fear of C++.

I wrote above before starting the C++ assignment, with some refreshing on C++, I was able to move through the fears/resistance and get the assignment done. Having a fear even before I start something is really stupid. Actually I like objected oriented programming model, its cool to organize data members and method in nice encapsulated way, ease of access and protection of data. Yes there is complexity in C++, no doubt, but there is also simplicity, so its a process, I will have to learn the terms, give sometime to practice, I mean just like our world there are no quick fixes, still we cannot runaway from it, we must apply ourselves to self-change and world-change. Its cool to do some C++ work, its being a super long time since I last touch C++.

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