I see that I should allow more silence within myself. This will enable me to listen more carefully to others. Today somebody was telling me something about them changing their career soon, I mean that’s a big topic to discuss, I couldn’t really listen to the whole thing and be of any support to that person. Instead I started to wonder into me changing my career someday, I mean, totally random point for me to speak about, no way on hell I am considering a career change, but just because the other person spoke about it, I just went “yeh I might too”, in that what I really did was ignoring that person’s need to discuss something important, or perhaps they want support, some sharing, sort of ranting and raving things. Looking back I see that I was rushing, I want to just blabber myself away instead of giving myself a moment of silence and actually listen to another being. It could have been a real moment of transcendence to us both, we could have both learned something from each other. It’s a window to share about my desteni process too, who knows what potential I missed in that moment today.
So silence is important. By silence here I mean sort of inner pause, stillness, awareness, alertness, attentiveness, breathing, being aware of breath, NOT caught up in my own mind-SHIT, just here totally. In that way, I can also catch myself speaking some total random bullshit like I did today about me changing my career. No silence can lead to insanity in human communications. So be careful.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself a moment of inner silence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prefer chatting away instead of remaining here in silence within myself. Both inner and outer silence, where I am in no hurry to say some bullshit, instead I actually listen to what others have to say.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear inner silence while I am in conversation with another, because I fear that if I don’t’ say something amazing or smart or funny, they might lose interest in having a conversation with me, and therefore they might cut off the call abruptly.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a boring person to chit-chat with, in this I forgive myself for seeing myself as a dull person who has got nothing to say in social conversations.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak out of fear that the other person might end the call if I don’t’ keep on talking some shit to keep them interested, hooked, in the conversation with me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others ending the conversation with me. “Ok then, I talk to you later” is a dreadful statement of “ending”.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having anything to say in conversations to keep others excited and interested so that the conversations can keep on going, never-ending.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear silence while I am in conversations, I fear just listening.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others might see me as someone who has got nothing exciting to share, or tell. I mean how can anyone have great conversations with a boring dull person like me?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others have no interest in conversing with me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto people as in keep on talking and talking, saying some bullshit, so that they won’t’ hang up the conversation with me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the words “bye”, or “got to go now”, because I think and believe now I am alone, the conversation is over, and now what shall I do?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel fearful about my inner silence, and seek to end this dreadful silence by making inner and outer noises.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a point of silent listener within conversations,
When and as I see myself urging/rushing to speak, or respond in conversations, I take a moment, I pause, I breathe, and I stop for a moment within myself, I see the wholeness of this moment here, the words, what is being said, my breathing, I direct myself to become aware of what’s going on, not reacting, not spewing out shit, not speaking for the sake of speaking shit, I remain silent, in silence, both within and without. In this way, I get to listen to another totally, within this I can be a point of support. It can also be a window, a moment where I could share about desteni process in a more meaningful practical way. I realize nobody likes a noise maker. Speaking from silence is the best.
I direct myself to remain silent, by breathing here. I see that there is no need to speak, by listening first in silence, I can ask questions, ask for more clarity etc, in that way I am having a useful, practical conversation that is best for all, not an exchange of mind-noises.
desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
Living Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution for a Failing Capitalism
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Solutions.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs.