I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don’t have anything to write about tonight, within this I forgive myself for wanting to skip just today, in this, I see/realize and understand giving into the excuse of ‘No topics to write about’ can become a really good excuse. In self-commitment to write daily, excuses are not acceptable. Because once excuses are accepted then basically any little thing can be an excuse, as the mind will find an excuse. Anyways.
Recently I have started a yoga class, this is pretty cool, the only strange thing is during the whole hour, some total bullshit new-age chanting is going on, kind of weird to listen to spiritual chants again. Long before desteni, I was an addict to those music, specifically that singer was one of my favorite kirtan rock stars if you will, famously known as “Krishna Das”. And now listening to him is like too much love and light, can’t stand it. But my teacher is all excited about yoga and potential enlightenment someday. I didn’t get into much discussion with her about the whole love/light thing, I suppose at some point I will, slowly introduce some common sense.
Apparently she grew up in communist china without any beliefs in GOD whatsoever, and now after years walking the love and light thing she is into beliefs and Gods. I am there for a purpose so don’t’ want to ‘rock the boat’ yet. May be at the end of the course, I will ask her to investigate desteni, but during the course I will have to establish some communication/connection. I mentioned to her very clearly, I am not interested in love-light/enlightenment bullshit, I am here to do some physical yoga, physical body movements, that’s about it. At the end of the class, we have to chant “OM” 3 times, which I didn’t mind, I mean went with the flow. I recall the days when chanting such mantra was pure magic, believing that sound to be some divine/sacred bullshit.
Thanks desteni, all that love/light bullshit has fallen away. But I do understand it won’t be easy for my teacher to just drop everything and embrace what I stand for, at least she will get to hear there is “something else”, that is far more real than LOVE and LIGHT. Anyways.
I have to carefully introduce/discuss desteni message with her. At the moment, she might just listen because I am her money-paying student, so that wont’ work, have to wait till the end of the course to discuss these. I remember when I was into love/light nobody could tell me I am in the wrong path, I mean I was pretty damn sure and had so much faith in the bullshit new-age stuff, in fact anything and everything new-age seemed magical. Now they appear like mind-altering drugs, new-age even smell like sewage to me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go on the offense when I see/meet new-age folks, within this I forgive myself for not seeing/realizing going on the attack against them won’t take us anywhere, therefore I will wait till the right moment and slowly start discussing common sense stuff, because I realize its not easy to hear common sense from an ascended high-energy, high-ego state. Also I see there is no point in creating conflict about this. I mean it is her process, she has to walk and realize the absurdity of love and light. Common sense cannot be forced upon.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to make a mockery of love and light folks, as if I want to ridicule them, sort of humiliate them for wanting/desiring love-light/enlightenment bullshit. In this I see/realize such approach will not be heeded, and I will only get a wall of defense, instead I direct myself to slowly in time discuss common sense stuff in manner that she will likely to listen.
When and as I see myself desiring conflict with love and light new-age folks, I stop, I breathe, because I see/realize it is not going to get us anywhere.
When and as I see myself desiring to insult or make jokes about love and light shit, I stop, I breathe, because I see/realize that I cannot really assist them if I put them on the defense from the get go.
At the moment, I see/realize that I am going there for physical yoga practice, so I will stick to that for now, when and as a chance come, I will speak about desteni/common-sense stuff. I will not seek to be confrontational about this as I have done in the past.
After all, I was once a Yogi wannabe newage junkie, so I must show some tolerance.
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