Day 506: “homeless being kicked in groin for money” – news

In news today, I read that in Vancouver, a homeless man allowed himself to be kicked in the groin for money, for $50. When I saw this obviously I had some reactions. I mean he is willingly accepting and allowing to be kicked, to be abused for money. What a world we have created. And for the kicker, the joy of abusing, the thrill, the excitement is all that matters, regardless of how it harms another human being. I mean pretty much like the system we live in, it cares not about anyone or anything, only for its own profit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when I saw this homeless man accepting and allowing himself to be kicked in exchange for money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger towards the guy who kicked the homeless dude. In this I forgive myself for not seeing/realizing, the kicker represents this entire world system which is kicking the humanity to ground.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only react when I see abuse in the open like in the news today, otherwise turn a blind eye to silent abuses that are going on behind closed doors.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to emotionally react upon seen the abuse in display, because it is visible and on your-face, otherwise I would not pay attention to it, it would only be mere ‘news not to be taken too seriously’. In this I forgive myself for not seeing/realizing countless abuses are going on in this world behind closed doors, not to mention all the suffering the homeless people go thru in the streets day in day out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beating up people who are down and under.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my elitist position to instill abuse upon those who are less fortunate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just like the kicker, abuse others who are down and under purely for the joy and pleasure of abusing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow abuse in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not speak up when there are abuses in this world and pretend like they will vanish on their own, not seeing/realizing abuses will never vanish, unless we collectively act to change this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the abusers not seeing/realizing abusers are part of me, therefore blaming them is only self-blame, instead I look to understand the system that creates abuse, the abusers, and the victims. There is no singularity in this, as the entire system is at fault which needs correction as I would correct myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have compassion towards the homeless man while being angry at the kicker, in this I see/realize it is futile to take sides, because both are part of an abusive system that we have accepted and allowed as ourselves, hence I direct myself to see blame is not the solution, taking sides is not the solution, instead I seek to understand the system and be a voice to change, first by changing myself.

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