day 513: “Look how honesty I am”

agentThere is a tendency to ‘show off’ my honesty. “hey look, how honest I am”. Hmm boasting honesty? How could this be honesty. I mean, its more like a clever plot to shine using the morality of honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to show-case my honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to share stories with others in which I am the main actor who is really honest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just like boasting about one’s material possessions boast how honest I am by sharing my stories where it is clear that I have been honest, and so it clear to the listener that I am an honest person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to show-off my honesty, which indicates the shallowness on my honesty meaning my real dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be seen as an honest person therefore try very hard to project myself as an honest person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire high morality so that others will like me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize honestly is real evil because it is a very subtle form of self-glorification/ego-amplification, in it, there is no integrity or self-honesty. In fact honesty is an expression of the ego. “hey look at me, I am so honest”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek approval and validation and recognition from others for my apparent honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘accumulate honesty’ to be more than others, so I can tell “hey I am more honest than those crooks out there”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beLIEve in the LIE of honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be recognized by GOD for my apparent honesty and even desire a seat in heaven for my honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to congratulate others for their apparent honesty not seeing/realizing its ego patting on the back of another ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize honesty is a system-tool within the system of abuse that is required at times to survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR self-honesty. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive everyone with my honesty. Not seeing/realizing honesty has no value whosoever without self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize boasting my honesty is a disease of the ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to for years and years boast myself as an honest person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate myself with the Sagittarius zodiac sign and see myself as a super honest person like the straight shooting archer, not seeing/realizing all it did was garnish my ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take great pride in being a Sagittarius who are famously honest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself as honest ‘no matter what’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take a moral high ground believing that I am some kind of a saintly person because apparently I am so honest. Meanwhile a massive secret mind was brewing behind the scenes all those years.

When and as I see myself desiring to project, or show off my ‘honesty’, I stop, I breathe. In this I see/realize all I am trying to do is garnish my ego.

When and as I see myself sharing stories where my honesty is a central piece, I stop, I breathe, because I realize the only reason I ‘share’ stories of my honesty is because I want actually cover up my evil dishonesty that exits within me.

When and as I see myself desiring others to be HONEST with me, I stop, I breathe, because I see/realize honesty has no value, it is utterly meaningless, as only self-honesty has any value.

I stop seeking/wanting people to be honest with me. 

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