Inspired by this desteni video about ONE LIFE TO LIVE.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that this process is ‘hard work’ meaning it requires my effort, dedication and self-application.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk this process like participating in a hobby, just doing it for the fun of it, casual part-time like thing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allocate and commit daily time to do my process activities but only participate when I feel like it. I see/realize there is a certain hobby attitude I have associated with my process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize days are passing by, years are passing by. I mean, my process got to move ahead, I can see that I am still walking this process casually, not complete dedication and commitment to activities, sharing, writing, vlogging, blogging etc. there is so much going on in this world, so much to write/vlog/blog about, yet due to my casual participation I have not been super effective in these.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize this ONE life I got to live. Only ONE life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste time and thereby let my life just float away without moving like an arrow to get things done in my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize I am here to birth myself as life, for which, dedication, commitment, self-application is required. Just casually floating around in the process wont’ get me anywhere.
I see/realize dedication is needed, commitment is needed, self-application is needed. This one life is not to be wasted. Stop wasting time in wasteful mind-occupations, doing useless shit, wasting time. This one life to live, this one opportunity, to birth self as life, not just die like a god-damn MIND. My whole life I have been a mind, nothing more, so here is a chance to walk a process and birth myself as life, this one chance to do it. Yet I allow myself to be consumed by so many emotions and feelings, sort of dragged by it, obviously I am allowing it. I mean if I were to die tonight, I will only die as a MIND, with all my thoughts/thinking/emotions and feelings, a heavy load indeed. So time to walk this process with dedication, to become self-aware. I realize this is a process, but I also realize to move on in this process, I have to apply myself, I mean it’s not given that I will birth myself as life, I have to birth myself as life through my self-dedication, and self-application. And every moment of living is a chance to apply, live, experiment my realizations. I live the change and stop the past patterns all in breath by breath. Letting the old go and becoming the new, all happening in breath by breath. It’s not like after years of walking one fine day I will be rewarded ‘life’, nay, this is a moment by moment application/dedication/change kind of a thing. Every moment is a chance to change myself. Moment by moment become aware of the mind, and then change it, become the directive principle. There is no magic pill in this, only self-application to grow in self-awareness. GOT this ONE life to do it.
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