days 542: too tired to write tonight?

waterI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use tiredness as an excuse to not write today. Within this I forgive myself for wanting to give-in to tiredness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize I am more ‘mentally tired’ than physically tired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to slide into subtle blame as I feel tired. Within this I forgive myself for using tiredness as an excuse to justify blame. I think what’s happening is when I am in that strange kind of tiredness I just get all moody/nasty etc, from there blame becomes so easy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel crappy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘down’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sort of depressed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that may be something is wrong with me, within that project all kinds of ‘negative’ views about me as in self-judgment. I mean that doesn’t help, bit of physical/mental tiredness is there, but no need to compound it by projecting all kinds views/judgments about me. I just breathe, and hit the bed soon, I mean I don’t have to feed my mind with stuff. Just breathe, be here, no need to compound.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel a sense of heaviness within my chest/heart area. Indicating I am not breathing fully, properly, shallow breathing is not self-supportive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not act to support myself, as in breathing fully etc, instead seek to whine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear judgments. Not seeing/realizing first I have to stop my own self-judgments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rise high and low with my mind energy’s high and low, instead of remaining here as a constant physical/breathing body. Here I see my thinking/thoughts today took me on this swing.

I commit myself to remind myself that I don’t have to ride along with the mood of the mind, I can breathe and remain here. I commit myself to not give much power to mind tiredness. Obviously if I am physically tired then, I breathe, I rest. Cool. That’s it for tonight. Time to sleep.

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