day 565: stop reactions in real-time

Reactions in real-time, as when and it happens, stop it. There is no need to feel guilty or shame, or upset about having reactions, simply upon seeing there are reactions, just stop it, do not participate, breathe, move on. I saw some reactions brewing within me towards some, it was slowly taking the form of blame, within the mood of self-pity, backchats were gearing up, then, I noticed that I don’t’ have to “react”, I can just breathe, and focus on what I am doing, not allowing and accepting to blame them within me. I have observed this “real-time” element for sometime now, meaning, as mind reactions/blames arise within me, I could see that I have a choice to STOP it. This is cool, obviously I want to get to a point where there are no reactions/movements at all, and that’s a process, a long process. Other day I saw this sexually charged image on facebook, as I saw it, I notice how a strong reaction emerged within me not just my mind, but within my body as well, as if the whole body is rising up as a reaction. Those are the real-time moments to breathe and be stable here, I mean, how can a “picture” cause so much movements within me? That shows the degree of body/mind brainwashing that exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize I always have a choice when it comes to reactions, I can always choose to react or breathe it out, not participate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize I can stop every thought from taking over me by simply slowing myself down and breathing here. I have a choice in that. This is real-time stuff.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize every moment is in fact a chance to develop my self-awareness, as I can “see” what is that I am participating in every breath. “am I thinking”, “am I blaming”, “am I reacting”, “am I comparing”, “am I fearing”, “am I getting possessed by emotions”, “am I lost in fantasy”, “am I lost in memories”, “am I gone into future”, etc, in this I see/realize, I have a real-time opportunity to stop participating in the automation of the mind-consciousness-system. Everything that happens in the mind is an automation, which I can stop it with real-time self-awareness.

I mean, what’s going on within me here/now, what am I thinking, whom am I thinking about, what is that I am entertaining within me. I know it all, I am like a GOD I know everything that’s going on within me, here now. So I can stop it, or I can participate in it.

Cool to move into a real-time process, as this is not some weekend or part-time activity, this is a real-time moment to moment process. And I don’t’ have to self-blame when I see myself getting lost in the reactions, I simply realize it and stop it, I support myself with breathing. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sort of blame myself, and feel bad about myself when I see that I have participated in reactions, not seeing/realizing that self-blame is another reaction, feeling bad is another reaction, so essentially I have compounded the original reaction with another reaction. So I see/realize no need for self-blame, simply stop everything here, do what is practically needed, breathe, live here. I mean participating in reactions is like living in an alternative reality of mind-fuckedupness. 

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