day 574: “never trust anyone” – (3)

For context, please listen to this short Tree of Life video by desteni.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making mistakes, within this I forgive myself for mistrusting myself to try new things out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mistrust myself to expand on things, to try new things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear judgments of others, not seeing/realizing self-judgment is a far worse limitation. I forgive myself for judging myself within the starting point of self-mistrust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give away my self-power to others because I have placed trust in their hands, by seeking their validation and approval. I see/realize seeking validation from others is a sign of self-mistrust, I mean, simple common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always ask for direction from others instead of finding my own direction, I realize in this I am placing trust again in the hands of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play these little games to ‘win the trust’ from others. As if I am trying to portray myself and this relationship as trustworthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suck upto people in a way so that they will see me as ‘trustworthy’ and this relationship with them can be seen as a point of trust. Here I see that I have turn trust into a personality I put on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize the games I play to ‘win the trust’ is an indication of mistrust. I mean should you need to prove your trust, then, obviously there is no trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have that warm/fuzzy feeling within myself when people say they trust me. Within that I forgive myself for connecting the emotions of happiness/feeling-good to the word trust. Sort of giving myself a jump in ego when others declare that they trust me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others when I experience self-mistrust, within that I forgive myself for wanting others to provide me with whatever that I am looking for, so that I can feel a sense of trust about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see trust as a feeling/emotion. Within that I forgive myself for seeking that ‘feeling of trust’ from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word trust as something I get from others instead of living myself as trust, as a living word.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the emotions of hurt to the word trust and consequently experience emotions of hurt when trust is broken. Self-creation.

So I see/realize how I have been living this word ‘trust’, totally fucked up to say the least. So lot to expand and write about. I mean, wtf, trust is who I am, like breathing, cant’ ask for someone else to breathe for me, I have to breathe for myself, trust is same, I live it, I give to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘buy trust’ like shopping for stuff, trying to get/buy some trust from others, but it never came, not seeing/realizing trust is within, it is me, not received from others.

Approval, validation, recognition all that is linked to lack of self-trust, I mean this is insane. Where will I seek approval/recognition/validation from when I am in the grave?

I am here, breathing, only the mind creates mistrust.

Please join us, let’s get to the root of the problem and then solutions.

Desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search Desteni Material.
Living Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution.
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with Self Support.
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey.
Eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews to Self Perfection.
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
#livingincomeguaranteed

 

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