day 580: walk through roadblocks, not fear them.

the purpose of lifeI was going to give up on a project today, I had these kinds of thoughts: “i can’t make it to the deadline, I am so late, I will be late, so might as well give up”. Few simple steps that I couldn’t see caused the delay, I mean had I just breathed through, and totally focused on the steps I would have seen it. Upon asking another person, he pointed out the missing step, up until that point I was boiling within my mind to give up. I mean simply look, look at the problem, one step at a time, focusing too much on the outcome/result is what basically held me back today, and consequently as time passed I want to give up. This is unacceptable, I have the potential to slowdown and look at each STEP of the PROBLEM and resolve it without rushing to the finish-line. Obviously there is the time-pressure, to get things done before the deadlines, yet, I could walk it step by step, I mean, otherwise I am going to stumble to the deadline without any accomplished work anyways, so might as well, given the time-frame, walk each step thoroughly, clearly, to my uttermost potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like giving-up as and when I hit roadblocks on things I am working on. Instead of directing myself to clearly looking at each step and overcoming them, breath by breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get upset with myself when I am faced with roadblocks, within that go into the self-belief that “I can’t do this”, that’s why I am having roadblocks. As if I am using roadblocks as mirror evidence of my own self-doubts, instead of looking at roadblocks as steps on the way: here is a step, a roadblocking step, look at it clearly, understand it clearly, stop judging it, stop fearing it, simply see the roadblock for what it is, and hence breathe through the process of finding a resolution to overcome that roadblock, I mean there is no way in hell I will reach the finish-line if I don’t resolve this roadblock here/now, so this roadblock is the FINISH-line here at the moment, so trying to rush through it, or giving up on it, is totally unwise and unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in fear of failing giving-up on projects.

I forgive myself for wanting to give up at the very first roadblock I face, its like, I use roadblocks to further justify my self-limitations, self-doubts and therefore continue living them, in that allowing others to reflect back to me what I accept within myself.

I commit myself to breathe through any roadblocks and NOT allow myself to go into my mind and justify any “giving ups”. I do not allow self-doubt to direct me, though I see/realize and understand for years I have lived myself as a self-doubting, self-limiting persona, so I see this self-created nature of mine will arise its head again and again, so I direct myself to breathe and remain focused on the ROADBLOCK at hand/here, and walk through it until I resolve it.

I commit myself to NOT focus on the finish-line, the outcome, I realize that’s a trap to reach to the finish-line mentally while I still have roadblocks on my hands, within that the tendency is to RUSH and skip or be careless about the STEPs here. I realize even if I rush to the finish-line the workmanship wont’ be of good quality because I ‘rushed through’ the roadblocking step, in that creating potential for mistakes and failure. So I see/realize and understand, living my utter most potential entails walking through each STEP and NOT rushing to the finish line.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the steps in the desire to rush to the finish line.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek the glory of the finish line, not seeing/realizing the glory is in each STEP, because if I skip any step, my outcome will be of less/low quality and that’s not me living my uttermost potential.

I realize the old fears will rise its head, but I commit myself to breathe through them and stay focus on the steps, not allowing deadlines to fear me. I forgive myself for fearing so-called deadlines and within that fear allowing myself to give up on the whole project. Wow how fucked up. So not focusing on the finish line is the key, and remained focused on the STEP here.

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