day 585: past friends

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience embarrassment and shame as I saw DT tonight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel awkward within myself thinking ‘what will they think about me’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘less-than’ DT, as if they have a god-given right to success in their lives than me, not seeing/realizing this is an idea I have accepted within myself. I mean what is that I want for them? Fall on the ground and be miserable so that I can feel good about myself seeing them down and me high?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience sense of tension and fear as I unexpectedly encountered DT, within that I see/realize I want to be ‘great/successful’ in their eyes and that didn’t’ happen so now I feel a sense of ‘loser’ hence go into less-than/tense state. Within that I forgive myself for fearing them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to view my social status as less-than them because of our respective time-lines. Again, this is something I am allowing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel embarrassed and shameful as I faced them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize DT are me in another lives, equal and one. They are not aliens, I mean why did I react then. Sense of shame, once we were close now distant. In actuality this distance only exist in my mind, I mean, physically we are here, sharing this earth together, perhaps not in close proximity but still close enough. I can run but can’t hide from physical reality, have to face it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear DT. Comparison and fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from DT.

I have to expand on this point, can’t live in fear of people, I mean, this is insane, have to face the shame, whatnot and let it go, the more I avoid, the more I have to face it with time-loops. Fear of people is basically due to fear of being judged by them, I mean, this is how I see it, may be it is me who judge them, or judge myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about what others might be thinking about me, not seeing/realizing the delusional mind-play in this. I mean how could I ever guess what another is thinking unless I construct it in my own imagination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience pain and sort of heaviness in my chest area as I encountered DT.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing people from the past with whom I have become distant now, instead of walking into the moment here, and simply greeting, no past, no weight of past memories, just here, breathing and moving on. It is the weight of memories cause the heavy/weight in me.

I will have to face every Being in this existence, sooner or later, can’t avoid or hide from anyone, and I should be able to stand clear without shame, within this I see/realize whatever things coming up within me require letting go and self-forgiving me. I forgive myself for fearing myself as and when I encounter people with whom I have now become distant. when and as I encounter DT or people similar to them from the past years gone by, I stop, I breathe and not allow past memories to dictate this present moment. 

Please join us, let’s get to the root of the problem and then solutions.

Desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search Desteni Material.
Living Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution.
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with Self Support.
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey.
Eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews to Self Perfection.
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
#livingincomeguaranteed

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