I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak in “what if” terms and create regrets for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize “I didn’t’ know any better, I didn’t’ know what I was saying or doing”, as if I was asleep.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize I am using regret as a means to generate feelings within myself, a sense of self-pity for myself, in that I forgive myself for not directing myself to breathe, be here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize wandering off into past or future only creates emotions within myself feeding the MIND, within that I am not here, not breathing.
I have had some people in my life, whom I have seen very clearly, how much they occupy themselves with thinking, I mean, they look zombified, so lost in the mind. Dont’ even the have the awareness to carry on a conversation sometimes, now I see it was their addiction to their MINDs and its emotions. Actually they were ‘feeling good’ to be thinking so much, it’s a drug-feeding session, thoroughly enjoying but only appearing like a thinking-zombie.
So in this I forgive myself for not seeing/realizing I am risking to be like that, if I allow past-regret or future-anxieties to take over. Within this I see/realize how ‘non-present’ I can be as I am thinking, it’s almost like I am presenting myself as an abuser to others when I am in that heavy-thinking state. Being here is a real gift to others and to myself. So I direct myself to cut the crap and slow down, breathe, be here, I mean clearly otherwise I am risking being like those people I mentioned, I know I didn’t’ like them at all for their apparent zombie-like existence, I recall how non-existence they were, totally gone, so this is not the way. I realize the machine, the revenge of the ego, can easily take over, using any reason, past or future, so it is my responsibility to slow down, breathe and bring myself back to HERE, to my body.
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