Some resistance to writing today, this usually happens when I miss a day or two, and the following days become even harder. Saw a great quote by Bernard, “words are presence of self, writing is the mirror of self”. Amazing support in those words. Such is not possible with infrequent or occasional writing, have to stick to consistent self-application in writing. Write daily, write something, write anything, give that moment of self-intimacy, after all, this is self-writing not some report for the daily-news. The more you write, the more “the words will become the mirror of self”, then the “spoken words shall be the presence of self”. I mean, this is what becoming of living word is all about. Until such time, every word spoken or written has a touch of deception, self-interest, profiteering in it.
I mean see a phrase like “humanitarian relocation” covering the evilness of war. Not too long ago I wrote such lines too, only promoting my own self-interest. So this is the journey, the process, from self-deception to self-honesty, from “humanitarian relocation” to real humanitarian support to all as equal and one. No more bullshit, but its a long way to go, and it starts with self, in daily writing, in birthing words as living words.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize this process requires self-effort, hard-work, self-application, dedication, moving myself through lethargy and resistance. This is not like going to mass on Sundays, where once a week you visit the church and the job is done, I wish walking this process was that easy. This process requires hard-work, commitment, and daily application.
I remind myself, for writing to become mirror of self, I must write consistently (if possible daily).
I remind myself that my life-situation right now is clam and quiet, a period that I can direct towards more writing/reading etc, so use the time wisely, don’t’ squander the gift of life and the gift of time, because time is literally running out, daily. Can’t write my Journey to Life blogs while in deathbed, so the time and space is here, use it wisely.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize ‘resistance to writing’ is a form of suppression, “I don’t’ want to see/hear” kind of mentality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize ‘daily writing’ is a small chance I give to myself where I pause and look at myself, look at my bullshit and correct them. Whereas generally the day goes on auto-mind-pilot, writing gives a pause, a moment, to reflect on self.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize ‘can’t just think through things, but write through things’, meaning, have to direct myself to write out the points I am facings instead of just flip-flopping inside my mind. Essentially I have to integrate writing as a practical tool in day-to-day to life, as if looking at everything through my written words.
So this is cool, to see the written word as the mirror of self. I don’t’ see it as some achievement, but simply as a practical tool to ‘see self’, and why wouldn’t I use such daily in my life?
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The master of war – “Be a Cure, not a Disease”.