I forgive myself for believing and creating this idea of specialness for blue. I recall having shirts in various blues, trying to present something special instead of just wearing clothes that are comfortable to the human physical body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to learn from an astrologer that blue is a favorable color to me, in alignment with other astrological factors from my birth-chart. I forgive myself for accepting this idea so blindly, I mean why green is any less than blue?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a pre-canned likeness towards blue. I suppose preference would be OK, experimenting colors would be OK, but to connect colors to astrology and then to ‘good luck’ is sort of creating a wishful spirituality, something to favor me. In fact this is what spirituality is about, something that favors me, just me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an aversion to pink colors believing them to be female colors, not something I want to wear. Nowadays when I see men wearing pink color shirts, it gives me that odd feeling, like wtf, what’s wrong with you.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to very subtly judge people based on the colors of their clothing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate bright green colors to those who are from the slums or uneducated types. I recall as a child seen those people from the slum areas in all bright green colors, though for them it was a fashion statement, or ‘dressing up’ occasion, but I saw it as ‘colors from the slums’, hence avoiding that bright green color at any cost. It’s a color strictly for the slum dwellers.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to classify people into social hierarchies in terms of ‘slums or high-class’ etc based on what I observe in their clothes, colors etc.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have special feelings to blue-turquoise colors because I have connected that to memories of a past relationship where it was someone’s color of preference. Within this whenever I see Turquoise, I sense subtle regrets, or sadness arising in me. Color triggers.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to activate so many memories simply by a color-trigger, as if this color is not innocent anymore, it can trigger things deeply within me. This is another aspect of living here breath by breath, nothing is a trigger, nothing can invoke stuff within, yet you can easily recognize things of the past, but they are no more ’emotional triggers’. I will always know the story behind Turquoise in relation to my past, but how/when will I stop its power to trigger feelings within me? Only when I stop, and breathe when and as I see something is moving within me triggered by Turquoise color.
I direct myself to breathe, let go of this astrological fascination with blue color. I am here, all colors are here, black, blue, pink, all are here, so within this I see/realize breathing is coolest self-support to undo the past madness.
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