day 646: Why Fitting-In is so hard?

tenseFor context listen to this eqafe interview about ‘fitting in‘.  I always had issues with fitting in, so this is a timely interview. Basically the being here says (via the portal), to consider yourself as a plus one whenever you enter into a social scene, in that way, you walk in as you, not as something you will change into, or modify just to fit in. I think that’s where the stress of ‘fitting in’ comes from, and related fears and social anxieties.

So just walk in, breathe, be a plus one, and move along with the folks that’ you’re sharing a social moment with. Tomorrow I have a social engagement, so writing some forgiveness statements to clear my already boiling mind about it. Does it makes sense, that the luncheon is approximately 14 hours away, and I am already ‘worried’ about it, doesn’t help. so I breathe, and bring myself here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear socializing within a festive mood.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at this situation as ‘fitting in’. Whereas this is not a ‘fitting in’ like situation, I am simply adding myself into the team during the Christmas luncheon.

I forgive myself for feeling uneasy already about the social gathering tomorrow which is about 14 hours away from now.

I forgive myself for seeing myself as an outsider instead seeing myself as +1 to the team. I am an addition, I bring myself in as +1. There is no ‘fitting in’ like scenario or dynamics. Just simply joining a group of people to celebrate the year-end with a luncheon. I mean nothing magical to this, simply go, sit, chit-chat, eat, and then leave. No drama required here. No preconceived mindsets required. No boxes required. This is not an arrangement of social boxes, simply all will be here, sharing a lunch together, that’s all. But if I approach the situation as ‘them’, ‘they’, ‘that group’, ‘this group’ etc then I am creating boxes where I may or may not fit in, because only into a box you can fit in, whereas physical bodies as life as me (in another life) sitting and having lunch requires no fitting in, merely joining as +1, as another physical body.

Now if I join as a mind, as a chattering mind that carries boxes within it, then, there may exist the need to ‘fit in’ because as I carry boxes in me, I see boxes outside, (as within, so without), that may create the need for boxes to fit it.

So I direct myself to simply walk in, as a body, as breath, adding myself to the table, as a plus one, here sharing food and some chit-chat, that’s all, no mind movements whatsoever. Should I experience any mind/emotional movements in the lines of ‘oh I don’t fit in here, I am an outsider, I don’t know anyone here, I don’t have any friends here etc, etc etc’, I stop, I breathe and I direct myself to remain breathing till the mind/emotional energy slows down.

As attention/focus/breath, I remain within my body. I see/realize once the mind start dancing to the terrible lies of my thoughts and emotions, it can be very discomforting, so I support myself to keep breathing and NOT participate in the mind which creates the need to fit-in in the first place. I am here equal to all, as everyone here is me in another life. It’s the need for special-relationships that fuck up everything.

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