Day 679: Morning Zombie

zombie-demonsThis is a pattern I can easily identify within myself nearly every morning of my life. Its like I am carrying this background feelings of dreadfulness, tiredness, even slight depression, crankiness, agitation etc. Often I attribute these to my habit of going to sleep around midnight or later. During my school days back in Sri-Lanka, I had to wake up 5am to catch the 6am bus to school, and I don’t’ recall being very ‘happy’ or ‘excited’ in those ungodly morning hours either. I need a sleep time-slot that’s less likely to activate this morning zombie pattern in me, its more like morning zombie-management, but for now this is ‘who I am’ in the mornings, a zombie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can’t correct myself and my zombie-like nature in the mornings as I wake up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wake up with a sense of depression, or being agitated or tired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel tired as I wake up in the mornings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel agitated as I wake up in the mornings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel a sense of dullness in the mornings as I wake up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel a sense of depression within me in the mornings as I wake up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes wake up with angry feelings and wanting to blame someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry these negative feelings sometimes throughout my day in varying degrees.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to wake up with ‘happy’ feelings, here I see/realize I am desiring the energy of happy feelings, that’s the making of a happy zombie, because I am still craving for the energy of feelings, positive or negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel dreadful in the mornings, its like ‘oh god another depressive day’. I forgive myself for seeing life as a struggle.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see life as a struggle to overcome my zombie-like nature, and to be a happy-zombie.

That’s what I see as a struggle, which I am always losing. In this I see/realize, I have to drop the desire to be a happy zombie, and just be physical instead, do things, get things done, move myself in the mornings, like today, as I woke up and I directed myself to write this blog.

So this can be a practical point of support if I could write in the mornings. Essentially still writing as a zombie here, because right this second I am still carrying those ‘negative’ cranked up, dull, slightly agitated feelings. So this self-writing in the mornings has to become a committed pattern, along with speaking self-forgiveness to counter my morning zombie-like nature while not looking to be a happy zombie either. Just be here breathing and get myself moving for the day, get things done for the day, live my life for the day, in a way that is best for me, and best for all. I mean otherwise I am just wasting away my days in struggles, moods, desires, blames and feelings. My life as a morning zombie, not acceptable.

I commit myself to speak self-forgiveness in the mornings, I see/realize this is a cool way to cut thru the energy state in the mornings. I commit myself to write in the mornings, whenever it is practically possible, because I have seen the benefits of writing in the mornings, and it can set the tone for the rest of the day. 

Investigate practical solutions before it’s too late:

Desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search Desteni Material.
Living Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution.
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with Self Support.
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey.
Eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews to Self Perfection.
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
The master of war – “Be a Cure, not a Disease”.
You’re me in another Life – by Bernard Poolman
#livingincomeguaranteed

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