Continuing with my 21-days of writing about morning blues (though skipped last few days) and back on track today. That’s cool, not to self-judge but to get back on track.
So…. here I am. strange. I see that living a life of utmost potential can only happen if each day, hour is lived to such potential, wasting time, not valuing one’s own time/existence is not the way to go. So I realize as I woke up, as time rolled on, I had a sense of waste. I am wasting, not much has been achieved or accomplished, even now I see I have been up for 2 and half hours not a whole lot is achieved other than getting myself ready and finished with breakfast. Time is running short, I just had my 47th birthday this past Sunday, so the remaining time is in short supply. Put another 20 years, I will be 67, wow, time to officially retire and then what? Downhill from there, should a ‘big’ disease or something hit on the way, then, time is really in short supply plus wont’ be able to do cool stuff as most of the remaining time will be consumed by healing/heath and whatnot. So this is the ‘feeling’ I woke up with, a zombie whose time is in short supply.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste time and believe that living means just letting time pass by, sort of watching a river go by while standing on the banks, in that I am missing life, because all I am doing is kind of waiting for time to tell me ‘ok now your time is over’, as if only then I can start rushing myself to finally LIVE. Currently I am not really living just watching time pass by.
I forgive myself for thinking that I wasted time and wasting time.
I forgive myself for judging me for wasting time.
I forgive myself for feeling like a loser because this precious time is gone/going away from me.
I forgive myself for not seeing/realizing all I have to do is LIVE the rest of my time here effectively without wasting, direct the time, get things done, I mean this is not about regret or fearing death, which is totally unpredictable, death could arrive at any moment, but the time here, the HOUR that is HERE, I can use to it, direct it to ‘get things done’, i.e without letting time/life pass by.
I forgive myself for accessing depression this morning by thinking that I am wasting my time, that sense of waste, sense of regret is creating depression, a sense of loss.
I forgive myself for feeling like I am missing out, not seeing/realizing I still have 20+ years (???), meaning ample time left should I effectively use every remaining hour to live HERE and get things done.
Life is not like a river that passes by while we just watch it go by. Life is something we participate and create, then fucking die away when the time is up. This is not a capitalistic approach to life and time, rather using it to live life to utmost potential which boils down to what am I doing hour by hour, day by day.
So when and as I see myself regretting or mourning the loss of time that has gone by, I stop I breathe and return to HERE, realizing I can effectively use the remaining time to LIVE to get things done. Regret is not going to bring back my ‘lost’ time, whereas living here, utilizing this hour, this day, is a step to bring out my utmost potential. I commit myself to look at time with gratitude and appreciation, and therefore NOT waste it, but utilize it, direct it, to ‘get things done’, in a way that is best for me, and best for all.
Investigate practical solutions before it’s too late:
Desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search Desteni Material.
Living Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution.
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with Self Support.
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey.
Eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews to Self Perfection.
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
The master of war – “Be a Cure, not a Disease”.
You’re me in another Life – by Bernard Poolman