Day 691: Morning Zombie (13)

zombie-demonsContinuing with my 21-day process of writing about mornings, how I wake up etc. In this interview, I believe I heard Anu saying: “while you are in bed just waking up, do some self-forgiveness”, meaning instead of getting out of the bed with some mood, insert some self-forgiveness statements for 2-3 minutes, and then wake up. (Please listen to that interview for greater and accurate perspective, it won’t be very cool of me to quote the ex-God inaccurately, not that I will be damned to a life of burning fire of hell, its more like out of respect for ‘double check’).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wake up today with tiredness. Again I am facing this because of late night to bed, close to midnight. So when I am repeating my patterns, its clear to me that I am not actually living what I promised/committed to do. There is a magic cut-it-out time somewhere around 11:15pm, once I pass that I tend to experience this morning tiredness, this is how it has been. Do I want to wake up feeling unrested, tired, day in day out?

So again I commit myself to retire by 11:15pm and compensate ‘the lost time’ by early rising. I remember in a chat with the one and only Bernard Poolman,
bernard-foto-de-perfilhe mentioned to write out a point should I have to 100 times until I get it right. True I feel a bit embarrassed to repeat myself here, but that’s what it is, come 11:15pm, I somehow convince myself to ‘enjoy staying up late’, read more, surf more, watch more youtubes, etc, very similar to a drug addict just want bit more, can’t say no.

Waking up mornings with a tiredness feeling, and therefore a sense of lethargy is very uncool. And as Anu explained there is the tendency, for this mood to carry on throughout the day, which would really suck.

So I forgive myself for fearing that the mood that I wake up with, can carry on all day and ruin my day.

I forgive myself for fearing my own morning moods.

I forgive myself for believing that this mood has power, can destroy me, can destroy my day, my outlook, my words, my mannerisms, everything,

I forgive myself for fearing my own creation, which is this mood. There is no point in fearing my own zombiness, this is what and who I am right now.

So I direct myself to breathe with awareness, and keep my focus HERE by asking “where am I”, and “Who am I”. I am here in the body, in this physical locale, and I am aware of my thoughts, emotions, participation etc, obviously no awareness of mind/self/body means a sense of lost, a true zombie.

Awareness of self, all that is going on within self is the first step, then comes the question, ‘why am I accepting and allowing them’, within that realization comes the 100-times repeated commitment statements, and then comes the living proof, i.e. LIVING OF THE CORRECTIONS in the physical reality, in my case, early to bed, no more pass 11:15pm.

I remember back in school days, we have these student leaders, used to call them ‘prefects’, becoming a prefect is a big deal, so at the inauguration/oath-taking ceremony, the last statement is: “……..may god be my helper”.  well, that’s where you get fucked, because there is no god but self who decide to cut the behavioral patterns, I know that, as the night get late, I have a tendency to stay up into late, wtf, its like I am deliberately trying to create the conditions for a morning doom sorry mood.

Amazing, it seems I really like to stay up late so that I can destroy my mornings with bad moods and my day subsequently, now why on earth do I want to do that self-sabotage? Do I have no purpose to live? to exist? Do I have nothing to accomplish and contribute? I mean am I some kind of a burden on this earth?

I forgive myself for thinking I am such useless fellow, good for nothing. I forgive myself for thinking that I am good for nothing, I have no value for myself nor for others. These are some subtle thought currents that could be running deep in the river of my secret mind. I mean its common sense, why would I want to deliberately create the conditions for a bad morning for myself? It is said I can be my worse own enemy.

Investigate practical solutions before it’s too late:

Desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search Desteni Material.
Living Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution.
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with Self Support.
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey.
Eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews to Self Perfection.
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
The master of war – “Be a Cure, not a Disease”.
You’re me in another Life – by Bernard Poolman
#livingincomeguarantee

 

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