Tag Archives: 4 count breathing

day 517: breathing with awareness.

breatheI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still trust my feelings, emotions and thoughts.

Meaning still there are the days when I allow myself to become low and down, allowing the weight of my emotions to knock me down, instead of living/breathing here as breath, as physical. I mean it’s the mind giving me ample food for thought and then me eating it up, and getting drunk in the emotions/feelings and getting totally lost in them. There is always some little story in the mind to start triggering these emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe these thoughts/emotions/feelings have power over me. I forgive myself for believing that they can control me, rule me over, not seeing/realizing I am the master of my mind, I can choose NOT to participate in them. Yet I do participate, I do think, I do allow the indulgence in the emotions and feelings. So this is great point of responsibility to NOT charge up my mind with these thoughts/emotions and feelings.

I mean more I participate in them, the more they charge up, whereas I want to discharge them, let go of its energy. Breathing is the key here, the decision to not participate in the mind is a decision. This is not going to happen magically, there is no GOD who is going to stop my thoughts/emotions/feelings. And this will only get more difficult as things are compounding and getting worse. I mean me trying to play out various scenes in my head is crazy, its unto me to STOP them. I decide the players inside my mind, I mean its up-to me to put whoever I want inside my mind and have them play, its up-to me to react to their play inside my mind. I mean, I am the creator of my mind’s play, as I allow and accept such nonsense inside my mind.

Breathing is great self-support is this, why not use it, why not breathe to the stomach, as whole breath, full breath, not just shallow breathing. Because when doing full-breath breathing or 4 count breathing, the energy build has no chance to compound, it has to melt down. May be this is something I have to really investigate, look at, take seriously, I mean, I am yet to try this 4 count like breathing on a regular basis.

What’s holding me back from doing it often, if not always? Breathe-in, 3,2,1, hold, 1,2,3, and breathe-out, 3,2,1, basically any such ‘regulated breathing’ forces attention/awareness on it, meaning not AUTOMATIC, unaware. When you are breathing with unawareness the mind has the greatest chance to wonder, do all it can because the host is unaware, lost, sleepy, so anything is possible, as host/me is missing in action, more like missing in inaction/sleepiness.

So I commit myself to take this regulated breathing seriously. I commit myself to add number of counts to breathing-in, and hold and then breathing-out. Basically I flow/follow along with in-breath, hold, then out-breath.

I commit myself to see/realize and understand for mental dramas to happen I must be unaware of my breathing. At the moment, my breathing is 100% unaware, as I have no idea I am breathing. And this must be changed into breathe with awareness.

I commit myself to make a regular self-directed effort into breathing with awareness, as in 4 count breathing or similar. I flow along with the breathing-in, hold and breathing-out. Within this I see/realize the urge to participate in the imaginations of the mind will be very strong, but that’s the challenge to return to breathing with awareness again and again.  

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Day 283 – At Death Breathing Stops. So Breathe with Awareness.

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I have to breathe with awareness; this is a point I have to return again and again, I mean, breathing with awareness is a basic step in birthing myself as LIFE through the physical. The breath is here, its available right here, right now, no time is needed, as I am breathing right this moment. So grounding myself in this in-breath and out-breath is the key. I mean without grounding myself here in this breath, I would only be manipulating myself. There is no way out of this breath, I have to face and direct this breath. And that is possible only when breathing with awareness. Just shallow breathing is not cool, because shallow breath will not stop the MOVIE in the mind. I am breathing.

Not breathing with awareness would also mean living a life of a movie, a running movie we call it LIFE, but really it’s a movie, thoughts, emotions, feelings, ideas, photos, pictures, memories, fears, hurts, angers, projections, blame, mind characters and all that exist because I am NOT breathing here with awareness.

Breathing is a moment of self-intimacy, when done with awareness. I mean it requires self-application, it requires stepping outside the thinking box, the pre-programmed BOX, called the mind. So easy to live the in the box, so EASY to follow the mind, the box, no wonder they say ‘think outside of the box’. It’s about thinking with BREATHING, and expanding awareness.

I am awareness, I am breathing, but am I aware of the whole breath? Am I aware of the in-breath, and the out-breath; am I holding the breath for a second or two for that infinite moment? That holding point is cool, because it really assists in cutting the stream of thoughts, the MOVIE. Otherwise just non-stop continuous stream of thoughts running like a river, endless, unceasing, even in sleep I am thinking.

I don’t remember any thoughts from yesterday, or the day before, last weekend, last month, last year, last decade, nope, I don’t’ remember a thing, but I know one thing, that I WAS THINKING for sure during those times endlessly. I mean I have been thinking every living moment of my life so far. What a shame. Never took a break from thinking. That’s why breathing with awareness and putting that 1-2 second pause is cool, vital breaks in the movie. Pausing at the both ends of the breath is bit challenging, but wow, what a way to STOP the movie, the mind. At least 1 pause must be applied, in-breath, pause, let go.

What is life: Set of breaths. I wonder if the number of breaths in a life could be counted, let me do a small math here: from Google I see on average 20 breaths per minute. So; 20 x 60 x 24 x 365 x 80, that’s the number of breaths on average for 80 years of living, some 780+ million breaths a lifetime. BUT NOT a single breath was taken with AWARENESS, it is completely an AUTOMATIC mindless job, wow, what a waste.

And what happens during those AUTOMATIC breathing? I simply get lost in the mind, gone somewhere, thoughts, emotions, feelings, ideas, fears, worries ,anxieties, lust, greed, anger, jealousy, suspicious, doubt, hate, rage, desires, wants, needs, competition, laziness, lethargy, depression occupies the mind, and it would take only ONE breath to ACT out on some stupid instant mad craziness which could even lead to murder. See everything happens in ONE breath, explosion of accumulated mind energy happens in ONE breath. That’s why breathing with awareness is the KEY.

What a waste to just breathe automatically and be unaware of every single breath, and in that let the body get consumed by the mind. Yes that’s what happening during thinking, the mind consumes the physical BODY, the substance. So it’s a slow death coming with each automatic breathing/thinking.

So living with awareness is a key, and that starts with Breathing, breathe with awareness. I direct myself to pause after each in-breath, because I see/realize it will assist me in stopping the mind movie, and it will assist me in establishing stability and expanding my awareness. Yes this is a key challenge for me, to PAUSE after each in-breath, I mean for sure, that will slow down the automation. I direct myself to breathe with awareness, by pausing at the end of each in-breath. I see/realize otherwise the mind MOVIE will start, with pictures, thoughts, emotions, feelings ever ready to jump in and take the center stage within my mind, so the mind can feed of my physical body.

Take one breath with awareness, see the difference. I am here, I am intimate with myself, I am aware of myself, I can see HERE, I can see thoughts are looking jump in, emotions are looking jump in, same with feelings. At last, I have the realization, I am HERE in this moment, at least in this one moment of breathing.

I commit myself to pause at the end of each in-breath. I commit myself to pause/HOLD the breath because I see/realize that will assist me in STOPPING the MOVIE in the mind, where I am just a clown/character/joker until the show ends at death, and then I am no more.

I commit myself to slow down, I commit myself to realize that this breathing act is absolutely vital to do with awareness, otherwise I am just wasting away remaining millions of breath, then one fine moment, all is GONE, OVER, as death stops the breath. It’s like a bank account of breaths, as I keep withdrawing, the deposit is shrinking, common sense. Someday soon none will be left, DEATH will be HERE. And then what? Having listened to so many life-reviewer interviews I know, death is not a welcoming thing, better to LIVE and get the job done here. I am here now, I am alive, so might as well breathe with AWARENESS, and direct myself to self-change and world-change.

No change is ever possible without BREATHING with awareness. That’s the basic starting point: The breath: I breathe.

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